just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
there is glitter all over my balls
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
