Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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