We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
