so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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