Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
