the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
