Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
