either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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