he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
