i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
