what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
