Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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