What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
