I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
