doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize