Do you still have your period?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize