On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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