Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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