You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She said her name was "party"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
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I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
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You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize