weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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