Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
