The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
