i think i have herpe
just one?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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