He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The feeling are messing with the penis
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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