Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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