Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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