are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My balls are so social today.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
