HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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