I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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