If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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