I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize