these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
