Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
