Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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