i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
