On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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