I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
