I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
