Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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