i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
