At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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