I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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