YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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