I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize