Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
