Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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