now i know why i became what i already was.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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