dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's always time for handjobs
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
