Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
