Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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