Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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