if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
