Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
