Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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