I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize